• BLOG | 5 Reasons Why Relationships Fail… and How to Fix That!

    February 25, 2019 | Andrew Stead
  • ‘Complicated’. How many times have you heard this word describing a relationship? These days complicated relationships seem to be the norm, but what if I told you that it really takes just a bit of attention to make your relationships work.

    Why do relationships fail so easily nowadays? Are relationships not “necessary” anymore? We don’t need a partner for security, we don’t need a partner for comfort, we don’t even need a partner for having children! Are we all so independent, self-sufficient, self-centred and selfish that we’re simply not willing to put any effort in a new or existing relationship?

    We live in a fast, consumerist, distracted society: when something breaks, we don’t fix it, we just get another one and forget about it. When was the last time you mended your phone? Is that what we do with our relationships when they’re no longer perfect?

    I want to share with you 5 the most common reasons why relationships fail and some solutions to prevent it happening.



    Safety and security are extremely important for any kind of relationship that implies a strong bond. Hence, a lack or loss of trust is difficult to overcome and can lead to any number of issues: possessiveness, jealousy, infidelity, lack of emotional support, resentment and eventually a breakdown.

    Mindful remedies:

    1. Be honest: it doesn’t matter how inconvenient truth is! Be always truthful and avoid unnecessary suspicions.
    2. Be open: keep your relationship healthy making things crystal clear!
    3. Develop and nourish trust: keep it up constantly, not only during crisis.

    Being selfish is the opposite of loving someone, so no wonder egoism won’t bring a fairy tale ending… I actively encourage a degree of selfishness, especially for those with an overactive giving nature. However, when we are too selfish, we don’t care if we move through life at different speeds, if we have different priorities and expectations.

    Mindful remedies:

    1. Be kind and compassionate to your partner: even when you are furious, nobody is perfect… apparently
    2. When “Me” becomes “We”: consider your partner’s priorities, goals and needs, not only yours.
    3. Cut your ego: feed your relationship at every opportunity.

    Compatibility has many guises: for example, compatibility in intimacy, in personality types, and in attachment styles. They can all, together or separately, result in frustration and eventually breaking off of the relationship. 

    Mindful remedies:

    1. Be flexible: remember you don’t need to share exactly the same interests, feelings and opinions
    2. Respect: don’t be judgemental and accept your partner for what she or he is
    3. Move out of your comfort zone: meet your partner half-way

    Money may be the root of all evil, but in relationships I believe it becomes the practical method of expressing the emotions we are often unable to recognise and convey. How many times have I seen a beautiful family situation reduced to a spreadsheet of assets and child access times?

    Financial incompatibility is more likely to occur in seriously committed relationships, such as marriage and cohabitation. In fact differences over money is one of the top reasons for marital dissolution (Dew, et al., 2012),

    Mindful remedies:

    1. Communicate: understand your partner money’s mind-set and share yours.
    2. Be open: don’t keep secretes, not even regarding those expensive pair of shoes…
    3. Tune in: sit down once a year and share what you are working forwards.

    Spending quality time together is fundamental for keeping alive a relationship. Our society is spinning faster than few decades ago: we barely have time for family ior friends, let alone time for ourselves. And some times we waste it – hence we tend to be stingy when it comes to share our precious time with someone else. Lack of time can lead to lack of intimacy and progressive distance from one another.

    Mindful remedies:

    1. Share small rituals: morning coffee, a nice note left in her purse; make your partner feel special in day-by-day life
    2. Date Night: dress up and go on a proper date with your partner; it doesn’t matter if you live together and ten minutes before heading out you were shouting to get a towel
    3. Unplug: leave your phones home and go for a walk, dedicating all your attention to your partner
  • And ultimately, grow! As individuals and as a couple.

    Have a great week nurturing your relationships at a whole new level!!